She Walked Away Without So Much As a Backward Glance

Today was the last day I plan to EVAH step foot into The House. Sure, I'll be in the garage, but the garage holds so many good memories for me now. So this afternoon I walked through one last time, expecting...I don't know exactly, something. All I felt was relief and peace. I shut that door one last time and walked away.

I thought back over this past year and looked where I am now. I microscope looked. My view sure has changed...and I've never been happier. Good, bad and ugly I love where I am, literally and metaphorically.

So I'm writing that next book, filling those pages up at rapid fire speed. My pen is to paper and it's making those wonderful scratching noises that only pens to paper do.

There Are No Words...

well, there are...they just bounce around inside my head.  During the day, during my long long car ride to and fro, the words are there.  I just can't get them in any sort of order these days.  I can't be still enough to get the words to behave.  Soon.  Soon I'll have my space, my peace and my time to coax all the words into something that makes sense.  I look forward to it, I dream of it...I long for it.  I think with joy about the nights I'll have being curled up in my perfect little nook...the nights that I know my words will obey and want to flow freely, instead of now...where they are there, being difficult.

Act Your Age!

What exactly does that mean?  I was told last night that I didn't really seem my age, that I was more like a kid.  Growing up I was always told to act my age, but looking back I *was* acting my age.

So WTH?  I'm 37 years old...where's the outline of how I'm supposed to be acting?  I mean wedding anniversaries are laid out for you...telling you exactly what to get on which year...why not ages?

It'd be great to just open a book before every birthday and get a full outline of what you're supposed to be doing and how you're supposed to be acting....eh, maybe not.

I was never a fan of coloring in the lines...why start now.

Winds of Change

Oh yeah, those winds of change are blowing all right...blowing so hard my damn hair is getting messed up (sorry, taking a "southern moment" ;-) )

The other day it hit me, my life is going to change forever.  It's been a very long time since my life has had this much change in it, and it's GOOD....scary as hell, but good.

I'm excited to take the step onto this new path...there are a ton of things in my way, that's for sure...but for some reason I'm ok with that...I can see the end and I just want to run to it.  I'm exercising my patience though....which is comical all on it's own.

And distracted as ever, I plug along with my days...sometimes you just need to be a butterfly to get it all done....

Hush! Fine, I'll write already!!!

So This Is 37

To say that my 36th year was hard would be an understatement.  During the course of that year I went through so many changes and emotions, I can't even begin to describe.  It was a year of awakening, a year of taking a good hard look at things...something that I didn't want to do, but was forced to do.  And that's ok.  Somethings aren't better left alone.  Status quo isn't always a good thing.  

So when it came time for 37 to roll around I was more than ready.  I wanted a fresh beginning, and brand new starting line with a new ending....that's not written yet.  

I was surrounded by some of the best people that I know over the weekend...my birthday weekend.  

With them I celebrated surviving, growing, learning and recovering.  I am blessed.

White Tights

Since the first day that one neighborhood boy splashed mud on my pretty white tights in grammar school I knew I'd never understand them.  Who them?  Boys.  Men.  Oh who are you kidding...they'll always be boys.

I mean what is it with them??  Cave men would drag their women around by their damn hair!  Now we give up our names in most cases sometimes ourselves.

And yet we keep going back.  We just keep changing our tights and we keep getting mud splashed on them.

True some are way better than others, but, they'll always splash the mud...always...no matter how great they are.

I am tired of changing my damn tights.  I like my clean white pretty tights and damn it the next time I get splashed with mud I swear I'll take them off right then and there and walk away.  Naked...ok, not totally naked...but naked by way of no tights.

Damn it.